Second, Here is what I really wanted to blog about...I have been struggling for a long time with my husband's love for the military. This October, Luke and I have been together for 7 years. He never mentioned the military while we were dating. We both had a passion for Real Estate, not being a realtor but flipping homes (for you who dont know, flipping is finding an older or abandoned home needing updating/repairs and buying it and doing those updates and then selling it) We started college in 2005 and decided after 6 months to quit and pursue Flipping with my parents. After many months of trying to figure out how to go about getting the loans needed to do the job, the economy really started falling...The banks tightened up and we were basically told even though we had perfect credit, the banks just couldn't give us a loan for a property we were not going to live in. Luke got very upset about this and began to look at other options.
We were stuggling as a married couple because we were so young, we were both 19 when we got married...marriage is a hard thing sometimes and the job thing really effected Luke. He didnt tell me he was looking into the military, so I was blindsided when we split in 2006 (after 10 months of marriage) and he joined the Marines. We never divorced and after almost a month apart, he returned home to me, a US marine. I could talk and talk about this but I wont...I will just tell you by a miracle of God, he got out. He had not gone to Boot Camp and therefore wasnt fully committed. I was a complete wreck until the day we found out he was free to go.
Ever since that day, it has always been in the back of his mind of what would have been if he had stayed in the marines. Now with the economy being so bad, it is hard to find a job, and this has never been a problem for Luke, hes always worked for my family's companies. But he fears that my mom and dad will soon have to let him go, because people aren't buying the way they did before. He may be offered a job soon from a man at our church working for the military...he would not be in the army or military, he would just be working for them...in AFGANASTAN!! for a year!!!
Am I a bad wife for not wanting him to do it? Seriously, I really want yall's opinion and an honest one! I know alot of people follow my blog that dont have blogger accts, so you can message me on facebook. But I just hate the thought of him being gone in another country for a whole year!!! We have been married 5 years now and I just dont want to lose him! I am ready to start a family, not be missing him and be no where close to having children. He would still be in harms way everyday and to me it's not worth the money. But, this is why I'm blogging to get other wives and ladies opinions, no matter what it is, because I need to know what others would think if they were in my shoes.
I can just admit that I am not a strong person, I am very weak and emotional. I've been without Luke before and it was not pretty. I know that before when he left we were on bad terms, but that doesnt mean I wont feel the same pain, that may be why I resent the military, because it brings back so many painful memories...but I will admit that I am weak.
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
This is only my opinion...Only you and Luke can truly decide what is going to be good for your family. First, I would say pray and don't fret, deal with the now as it comes not the what ifs. Second, I would say a year may seem like a long time when you going through it but when it's all said and done it will be but a flash in the pan. I have a friend who did this in Iraq and he came home a couple of times and was able to make a good little nest egg for his families future. I could be wrong but I'm thinking Luke just wants to provide for his family and sometimes We wives have to just pray for a hedge of protection when we can't control every detail(I say this because my husband says I'm a bit of a control freak and I recognize that). I wouldn't call it selfish...I believe your truely concerned about his safety. I've found though that when I give my husband the reigns and pray for him and his decisions it all turns out ok. And Last I will say Kate don't under estimate your strength. Women, wives and mothers are the strongest group of people on EARTH. This may be good for the both of you to show you that you really are stong and that you can support each other and make it through anything. I hope this helps just a bit but it sound like you and Luke need to do the research and keep an open mind to possibility. Sorry didn't mean to write a book...lol
ReplyDeleteSuch a tough decision and one that requires a lot of communication on both of your parts. What is your main reason for not wanting him to go? My fiance is a police officer and it is a scary job. I worry every single day, but I know he is living out his dreams and who am I to take that away from him. I support everything he wants to do 100%. Sure, we have to make sacrifices along the way and we are both willing to do that. I can't imagine him telling me not to pursue my dreams.
ReplyDeletePenny- thanks girlie! I needed to hear all of that, even though i already know it, we need reminders or we will forget! Thankfully, we have a new job opportunity that will be so much fun and everyone (my mom, dad, me and luke) will be involved. And best of all it's a safe job and will provide for both our families...it's a surprise, i'll tell you when i can. Please pray for us, this will be such a blessing if it works out and luke's very excited!
ReplyDeletePatience- thank you for taking the time to comment me. My main reason for not wanting him to go is that the only reason he wants to go is for the money...And risking his life for money is not worth it to me, when there are other things that he would like to do that aren't life threatening...we have talked over the last few days and he agrees that he would be going for the wrong reasons and so we hope this new opportunity will work out!